Parentification occurs when parents look to their children for emotional and/or practical support, rather than providing it. Hence, the child becomes the caregiver. As a result, parentified children are forced to assume adult responsibilities and behaviors before they are ready to do so.
It most often occurs when a child is expected to take on the role of a parent without the necessary support or resources to do so effectively. This type of trauma can lead to significant psychological distress and can be considered a form of emotional abuse.
A parentified child has responsibilities placed on them that are inappropriate, considering their age and abilities. These responsibilities can include practical duties, such as paying bills, or emotional support, such as acting as a confidant. Parentification can have negative effects on a child.
One of the many manifestations of the Mother Wound is the pattern of the “parentified daughter.” In this pattern, the daughter plays the role of parent to her parents, particularly as a mother to her mother.
A parentified child does not develop a clear sense of their own needs and feelings. As an adult, they may find it hard to trust others, manage their own emotions, and form healthy intimate relationships. They face a greater risk of anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, and eating disorders.
As voiced by many on TikTok, the syndrome can impair eldest daughters' wellbeing and “steal” their childhood as they are rushed into assuming a disproportionate amount of adult responsibilities – also known as parentification.
However, there are often negative effects of parentification in childhood. Many parentified children can grow up with higher levels of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Research published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies suggests that parentification may give some children feelings of competence, self-efficacy, and other positive benefits.
Setting healthy boundaries with toxic parents can help you heal from emotional parentification. You might have never learned how to set boundaries with others. You might even feel guilty or selfish when setting boundaries. Keep in mind that this might feel uncomfortable at first; however, setting boundaries is a skill.
Parentification can occur when one or both parents have mental health issues and it seems to be common in narcissistic families where the family is structured around getting the needs of parents met, rather than providing a healthy environment where children are nurtured.
However, there is a second type of trauma that is very real and pervasive, yet not captured by the traditional diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The term Complex PTSD describes chronic childhood trauma, such as emotional neglect or parentification, that is invisible in nature.
If you are a parent who is prone to intense mood fluctuations more frequently than others such that it makes your child “walk on eggshells” around you, and if you are a parent who is emotionally unpredictable to an extent that your child feels responsible for taking care of you out of guilt, the term “eggshell parents” ...
Destructive parentification* is defined as a child who over-functions in a parental role. The opposite end of the spectrum is “infantilization,” a child who under-functions in a parental role but is fulfilling the parent's emotional needs of being a dependent child (Jurkovic et al.
Often parentified children are the oldest or middle in the birth order. Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
Parentification occurs when the roles between a child and a parent are reversed. You know you were parentified if as a child you have to step up as the caretaker, mediator, or protector of the family. Parentification is a form of mental abuse and boundary violation.
There are two main types of parentification–emotional and instrumental. Instrumental parentification focuses on tangible or physical tasks that need to be completed, while emotional parentification centers on managing the emotional equilibrium of the household.
Lack of support: Parents who don't have supportive relationships or a strong support system might enlist their children to do this for them. Health conditions: Parents who have a medical condition, mental health condition, or substance use disorder may find it difficult to care for themselves or their children.
In cases of malicious parent syndrome, a divorced or divorcing parent seeks to punish the other parent. Sometimes, the offending parent will go so far as to harm or deprive their children in order to make the other parent look bad.
When the roles of a mother and daughter become entangled, this is described as an enmeshed relationship. In an enmeshed relationship, a mother provides her daughter love and attention but tends to exploit the relationship, fortifying her own needs by living through her daughter.
In contrast to parentification which happens within the home, adultification happens outside the home. It comes from the attitudes of people, organisations and services who surround the child. However, it is possible that a child's circumstances may cause them to experience both adultification and parentification.
Every stage of parenting has its challenges, but one poll reveals what age most parents feel they struggled with the most.
Although the term “youngest child syndrome” persists, it is not a medical or psychological disorder. There is no official diagnosis and no clinical definition for this syndrome. However, some of the traits associated with this birth order position include spoiled, free-spirited, and persistent.
For some parents, infancy is the hardest. For others, it's toddlerhood. Some parents feel that the preschool years present special challenges.