A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
ESTPs and ENTJs have the potential to be the most toxic personality types. They have a tendency to be egotistical, competitive, and controlling. This does not mean everyone with these personality types is toxic. But it is important to be aware of these tendencies that can lead to unhealthy behavior.
: containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
Radon in basements, lead in drinking water, exhausts from cars and chemicals released from landfills are just a few examples of toxic substances that can hurt you.
Many people who behave in a toxic manner have been through trauma themselves, and instead of dealing with that trauma, these people start exhibiting toxic traits. These people usually don't know how to process trauma and stress in a healthy manner, so they end up being unpleasant around people.
Those who are extroverted, sensing, feeling, and judging are often identified as one of the kindest types by experts. "ESFJs have extroverted feeling as a dominant cognitive function," Gonzalez-Berrios says. "This makes them rule by their hearts. They are kind, polite, friendly, and sensitive."
Which Types Ranked as the Least Happy? Sadly, INFPs ranked the lowest for happiness as well as the lowest for life-satisfaction. According to the third edition of the MBTI® Manual, these types also ranked second highest in dissatisfaction with their marriages and intimate relationships.
The Destructive ESFJ
Destructive ESFJs are manipulative, controlling, and prone to gossip. They adopt the beliefs of the people around them and bully anyone who lies outside of that value system.
It includes: arrogance, deception, delusion, dishonesty, ego, envy, greed, hatred, immorality, lying, selfishness, unreliability, violence, etc. In ancient Bhagavad-Gita, Lord Krishna lists the qualities which make a person more and more inhuman as hypocrisy, arrogance, conceit, anger, cruelty, ignorance.
Toxic friends, however, often present as selfish and challenging. They may struggle with healthy communication and become aggressive, passive-aggressive, or dismissive when they don't get what they want. They may also depend on you for validation or comfort, exhibiting a range of attention-seeking behaviors.
Toxic people are controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. A narcissist will use gaslighting to make you feel confused and insecure. They will use every opportunity to shame you and isolate you from other people.
This doesn't mean you have to interact with them, but people aren't born “toxic” and generally get that way from observing such behavior in the home as a child or experiencing abuse. Setting healthy relationship boundaries with toxic people is essential, although it can be very challenging.
Toxic behaviors often arise from genetic conditions like depression and anxiety or from circumstances that lead to Post Traumatic Stress and resulting depression/anxiety. While these factors are not under the direct control of the toxic individual, it is still their responsibility to manage their behaviors.
Since you are used to toxicity in your life, you'll attract toxic people. While it's unhealthy to have toxic people in your life, the toxicity is comfortable and familiar. You might also believe that you don't deserve better. Or, you may not know what is healthier than having toxic people who use and manipulate you.
Teach them that you won't be a part of the pity party by being unemotional, inattentive, and indifferent to the crisis. Don't ask questions and don't offer help. It might feel bad because it's not your normal way, but remember that you're not dealing with a normal person.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Consistently blaming others for your own problems is also a sign that you're a toxic person. As Raichbach points out, the inability to take responsibility for your own actions typically means that you push the negativity onto the people around you.