The first kind of love was eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks didn't always think of it as something positive, as we tend to do today.
The First Love
This love is usually more surface level, with more importance placed on how the relationship might look to others. While it certainly feels like true love at the time, it's not usually the deep, raw love that you'll experience later on.
Falling in love typically begins when someone starts to see another person as special and unique. The initial phase of falling in love is an extreme neurobiological state, characterised by heightened responses and high passion.
The early stages of falling in love can be summarized into three feelings: euphoria, personal endangerment, and exhaustion due to the first two. The euphoric feeling of falling in love is biological and hormone-based.
For many men, this first love is also the first time they have been in the sort of relationship where they are asked to make a series of compromises. More accurately, it may be the first time they really wanted to make those compromises, because they valued the relationship.
“Your first love is hard to forget because it leaves an 'imprint' on the sensory areas of your brain,” Bordelon says. “Memories during your adolescent years leave hormonal imprints at the same time as your neurological developments are forming your identity.”
Multiple studies have confirmed our brains experience something very much like an addiction when we're in love. The first time may be the most important because it's the foundation. Most likely, you experienced this foundation of love during a time (adolescence) when your brain was still developing.
First love influences all subsequent relationships
However, Davis emphasizes that first love is not necessarily the best or deepest love. The intensity of first love may distort one's perception, causing one to remember it as more significant than it truly was.
While 40% of people marry their first love, reunited or not, only 4% have a happy ending after reuniting.
First love is more likely to be experienced as unique and perfect, with an emphasis on togetherness, sharing, and communication. First love is characterized by idealism, innocence, emotional connection, reciprocal involvement, orientation to the future, and desire for a pervasive presence of the loved one.
Those firsts can be intense and memorable. If these 'firsts' were positive, you may remember your first love with fondness, and consequently, find it harder to move on. On the other hand, if your experiences left a sour taste in your mouth, it is more likely you may find it easier to let go of that first love.
They may continue to love and care deeply about their former partners, though those feelings are no longer tied up with wanting to continue dating. As long as you wholeheartedly accept that the relationship is over and are actively moving on with your life, you can still maintain a friendship with an ex you love.
How long does the romantic phase last? Studies have estimated the euphoric stage can last anywhere from six months to two years. Although a small portion of the population (approximately 15% to 30%) say they are still in love and that it still feels like the first six months—even after 10 or 15 years later.
No matter how old they were when they reunited and no matter how many romances they had had during their lives, 62% of the participants reported that they chose to reunite with their first loves.
"Across the cultures we surveyed, our research suggests that men tend to say I love you before women, and both men and women are less happy to hear 'I love you' if they tend to avoid romantic intimacy or closeness.
It's possible to still be in love with your first love years later. However, it's important to realize that love isn't always enough to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It's possible to love someone and still realize that a relationship may not be the best decision for you.
If you really want to be friends after being in a relationship then it can be helpful to put some boundaries in place, mainly for yourself. Sleeping together while trying to be friends can totally mess with your head so it might be wise to give that a miss.
Guys don't ever completely let go of "that girl." It's not because we don't want to -- we do; we just can't seem to. This doesn't really differ between men. The only thing that differs is the level of love that one has experienced.
So, when a lover reveals their friends with their ex, the first thought is usually along the lines of yeah right. However, according to relationship expert David Bennett, being friends with an ex “can be positive under the right circumstances,” he told Bustle.
The truth is that it typically takes men longer to get over a breakup than women, Carol says: "It can take some men years—or even decades...if they truly loved her. They just don't show their grief to others—or even to themselves."
Often brings up memories that the two of you shared
He still loves you and if you are wondering, “Can a man forget a woman he loves?”, the answer is no. Erasing memories after a breakup is impotant. However, if he is not able to do it, he is still very much in love with you.
Your second love is better because you've learned from your mistakes. From big to small stuff, your first relationship will have taught you what made you screwed up and you'll be able to realize what battles are worth fighting for.
Red flags are warning signs that can indicate potential problems in various areas of life. For instance, in a relationship, red flags may manifest as controlling behavior, lack of trust, low self-esteem, physical, emotional, or mental abuse, substance abuse, narcissism, anger management issues, or codependency.
Because you've experienced what it feels like to be in love before, it's no longer a gripping force that controls and defines every aspect of your life. For example, getting into a tiff with your guy will no longer throw off your entire day like it might've in the past with your ex.