These female abusers' common traits included being possessive, controlling and jealous; having unrealistic expectations of her partner; having high impulsivity, anger and rage; and not having enough outside support from female friends.
An abusive person will often say "you make me mad", "you're hurting me by not doing what I ask", or "I can't help being angry". Often are alcohol or drug abusers. May have a family history of violence. May be cruel to animals and/or children.
1 The adult may be a relative, caregiver, step-parent, religious figure, coach, or babysitter, though the majority of perpetrators are parents of the child. In the United States, children experience child abuse or neglect at a rate of 8.9 per 1,000 children.
Emotional abuse often coexists with other forms of abuse, and it is the most difficult to identify. Many of its potential consequences, such as learning and speech problems and delays in physical development, can also occur in children who are not being emotionally abused.
Abusers often suffer from their own mental illnesses; a mood disorder may make them more prone to irritability and anger. Both depression and mania can manifest in heightened snappiness and quickness to attack, especially when associated with insomnia.
The cycle of abuse often goes through four main stages: tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm. Abusive behaviors may escalate from cycle to cycle, although this isn't always the case.
Abusive partners often display a fourth attachment style, a fearful attachment. Like anxious-preoccupied individuals, they don't expect adults to be responsive to their needs which in turn gives rise to anxiety.
Narcissistic personality disorder and the victim mentality
Research from 2003 suggests that people high in narcissism may see themselves as victims of interpersonal transgressions more often than people not living with the disorder.
Inside an Abuser's Mind
They will use isolation or threats to keep their victim from leaving, getting help or having any other relationships. Anything that empowers their victim, including relationships or money, will be seen as a threat to the abuser who wants the victim completely dependent.
The feeling of being powerful and in control gives some abusers immense pleasure. Abusers may also derive pleasure from seeing you suffer. Narcissists, psychopaths, and sadists may be drawn to emotional abuse because of the pleasure they take in having power over others or seeing them suffer (Brogaard, 2020).
A history of childhood sexual abuse is one risk factor. Other factors include having a substance use disorder or having another mental health condition. Lack of social support and socioeconomic stress also play a role. If you are concerned that you might engage in abuse, talk to a healthcare provider or therapist.
Many medical professionals consider the victim's positive feelings toward their abuser a psychological response — a coping mechanism — that they use to survive the days, weeks or even years of trauma or abuse. Other closely linked psychological conditions include: Trauma bonding. Learned helplessness.
Stockholm syndrome is an emotional response. It happens to some abuse and hostage victims when they have positive feelings toward an abuser or captor.
Build-up: Stress builds up in the abuse
The cycle begins with some stress (ex: job, money or bills). The stress causes the abuser to feel powerless. The abuser chooses to act out toward a spouse or partner through name-calling, insults and accusations.
There are four main categories of child abuse: physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and neglect.
Abuse perpetrators are sometimes quick-tempered, have a history of being abused themselves, blame others for their problems, have low self-esteem and self-concept, and act controlling, impulsive, and highly jealous.
Not every abuser has a narcissistic personality disorder. Abuse occurs in many different ways and every type, degree, and combination of abuse comes with its own unique spectrum. In this spectrum, we have a limitless amount of personality types of the perpetrators that are engaging in these acts of abuse.
The five cycles codified—enmeshment, extreme overprotection and overindulgence, complete neglect, rage, and rejection/abandon- ment—were first published in Annals, the journal of the American Psychotherapy Association, in the Fall of 2002.