In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
When people with BPD feel jealous, they can react in a number of ways. Some people lash out at their loved one. Others give the cold shoulder or freeze out their loved one. Some turn the pain they feel inward and may struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
Morbid jealousy can occur in a number of conditions such as chronic alcoholism, addiction to substances other than alcohol (i.e. cocaine, amphetamines.), organic brain disorders (i.e. Parkinson's, Huntington's), schizophrenia, neurosis, affective disturbances or personality disorders.
Men with symptoms of BPD often express extensive fear that their partners are involved in inappropriate relationships with others. This sometimes results in delusional jealousy that is often expressed as lashing out at their partners. There must be someone else.
You can use Mindfulness Skills to help you to Observe and Describe the situation in a Non-Judgmental way, thereby hopefully removing a lot of the assumptions and/or judgements you might be making about the situation or people who are making you jealous.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
Relationships. Relationships are one of the most common triggers for people with BPD. People with the disorder tend to experience a higher than usual sensitivity to being abandoned by their loved ones. This leads to feelings of intense fear and anger.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive.
Borderline personality disorder, or BPD, is a mental health condition that is characterized by a pattern of instability in relationships, affect, and self-perception, along with impulsivity. A person with BPD may appear insecure, overemotional, and even possessive—but only to those who know that person well.
During times of stress, which may be caused by interpersonal conflict or a lack of self-confidence when facing personal or professional challenges, a person with BPD may suddenly feel surrounded by menace or danger.
Jealousy is a prominent feature for those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder (NPD and BPD).
Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to manage their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.
Stressful or traumatic life events
If you get a BPD diagnosis you're more likely than most people to have had difficult or traumatic experiences growing up, such as: Often having felt afraid, upset, unsupported or invalidated.
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
Although BPD patients commonly use emotional manipulation techniques, their intent is not to manipulate others – but, in fact, to cry for help. Some of the things people with BPD do that are commonly viewed as being “manipulative” are threatening suicide, self-harm, and more.
In fact, breaking up may be a part of a borderline personality relationship cycle that people can find themselves in. Because people with BPD have a hard time understanding themselves and others, they may act impulsively out of fear, jealousy, or rage.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
Also, the inability to self-soothe can lead to impulsive, reckless behavior. People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended.
Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating. Rather, a hallmark feature of borderline personality—impulsive behavior—sometimes manifests as sexual preoccupation, early sexual exposure, casual sexual relationships, and promiscuity.
Symptoms of BPD Cause Unstable Attachment
Fear of abandonment contributes to the emotional dysregulation associated with chronic fear and worry about separation and lack of access to their loved ones.
People with BPD fear abandonment and have trouble maintaining relationships. Nevertheless, they tend to lie, which ruins trust and intimacy, fosters resentment, and harms the very relationships they fear losing. Many family members and friends of those with BPD cite lying as a major problem in their relationships.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
A fear of abandonment is central to BPD. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you're just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading. Unfortunately, intense fear can lead to your partner being clingy or making unreasonable demands on your time.