Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities.
The bottom line is that narcissists are not capable of genuine love or generosity. The narcissist will do anything to control you – including being nice. They may be able to fake it in the beginning, but eventually their true colours will show.
Narcissists sometimes partake in acts of kindness when they want something. They're not ashamed to be nice out the blue, then ask for a favour in return. Narcissists know that empathetic people feel obliged to say yes when they've received some kindness.
With covert narcissists, their focus on meeting their own needs is masked by more subtle manipulation and control techniques. They can come across as sweet and innocent, even shy and introverted, and can also seem very caring and helpful.
This can take the form of having self-confidence and even a modicum of entitlement while still displaying empathy and emotion. Research shows the role of healthy narcissism occurs at subclinical levels in everyday populations and can help motivate people to enhance themselves and to progress in life.
The benign narcissist is very self-serving and may manipulate and control others, but not with malicious or destructive intent. Rather, it's just to continue to feel secure and in control of their own world, in a benign kind of way.
But as it turns out, even narcissists have their nuances, and one of them is the capacity for humility. Being humble may sound totally outside the wheelhouses of folks with strong narcissistic tendencies, but research by my colleagues and I suggests that it isn't.
A narcissist can continually be nice to those people who they precieve to have never criticised them or threatened their illusion of themselves that they are trying to portray to those around them.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Similarly, narcissists use a sparse and unpredictable pattern to dole out treats such as praise, attention, money and opportunities. Every once in a while a narcissist will say something nice to you, do something for you, or bestow his or her charm or attention on you. The rewards seem magnified because they are rare.
However, once in a while, just once in a while, the gaslighter/narcissist will give you something that appears like a compliment. However, it is anything but. Gaslighters/narcissists can never fully compliment someone unless there is an insult tied to it.
Narcissists, however, may show off their wealth to other people. Their loved ones may receive amazing gifts during the holidays, or they may donate a considerable amount of money. The primary goal of these people isn't to be generous. Instead, they are trying to impress others.
Some people with NPD are trying their best to be good people but are handicapped by their narcissistic adaptation. Their extreme self-centeredness, lack of emotional empathy, and lack of “whole object relations” and “object constancy” distorts their view of interpersonal situations.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Although empathy for animals and humans is certainly related, it is possible for pet owners with narcissistic traits, particularly Narcissistic Neuroticism, to have empathy and love for a pet despite having low empathy for humans.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissists tend to display exaggerated body language and facial expressions. The 1990 study on conversational narcissism also found that narcissists tend to be overly dramatic in their hand gestures and facial expressions. They may also speak in a loud tone of voice.
Sociology. "Narcissists will isolate themselves, leave their families, ignore others, do anything to preserve a special [...] sense of self".
1. Narcissists are masterful impression managers: Thanks largely to their intense self-obsession and self-adulation, narcissists excel at managing initial impressions. They care a lot about their appearance and dress to impress, which signals status and makes them attractive.
Narcissists might have "grandiose" delusions about their own importance and an absence of "shame" - but psychologists say they are also likely to be happier than most people.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.